It's that time of year again. Yes, it's almost time to point at the Wrestlemania sign ad nauseam. Unfortunately that is actually a fact, but what I'm looking forward to is the usually exciting, sometimes career-making Royal Rumble match ... hopefully with some jaw-dropping surprises.
It's those surprises that I really look forward to. After two decades of booking the Rumble, WWE producers and matchmakers now realize the importance of surprise returns and Easter eggs sprinkled throughout the match. However, they don't always live up to my expectations.
Granted, my expectations can sometimes be too high, but usually WWE just falls short on things that they should've and could've booked. Maybe I'm a glutton for punishment, but I have a full list of expectations this year.
I, like some of the Internet Wrestling Community, am a little upset that WWE ruined some of the surprise entrants in the women's rumble this year. Summer Rae isn't someone I was anxious to see, but she's not someone I would've expected to get a spot. It's that surprise, good or bad, that makes the Rumble fun. Apparently WWE still has some good surprises planned. Let's hope so.
In case they need some ideas, here's my wish list for both the men and women's Royal Rumble matches:
Alexa Bliss: obviously Alexa is already part of the Raw roster, but I have loathed this ridiculous, cartoonish copy of The Fiend (which is a stupid gimmick by itself). Then they added Lily to the mess. So freaking stupid. If you want to appeal to kids, sure, but it's hard to stomach as an adult. Anyway, I want Alexa's old music to hit and to see the original Alexa strut down the ramp. It'd get a huge pop. While I have no interest in seeing Alexa in any top feud in the women's division, her old character was at least entertaining, so I'd welcome any way to bring that character back to the division.
Melina: another woman whose music always gets a pop is Melina. She signed with NWA and appeared with Impact as recently as 2021, but her WWE chapter always felt unfinished. She was released unexpectedly in August of 2011. Like others on this list, she didn't get a retirement match, a send off, or much recognition for her contributions to the industry. Let's face it: she deserves some love. Without her, there'd be no Sasha Banks. Half of Sasha's move set comes from Melina. That's not a dig, by the way. That just highlights how influential Melina was. Coming off of a few big matches last year, the Royal Rumble would be a nice way to cap off her in-ring WWE career.
X- Pac: I believe X-Pac has had some injuries the past few years, so he hasn't been medically cleared to return and get physical. As one of the innovators of fast-paced, high-flying, martial arts action, I'd like to see X-Pac get another moment to really shine inside a WWE ring. He's already in the Hall of Fame as a member of DeGeneration X and he's made frequent appearances on reunion shows, but he never had a retirement match or even a real good send off. Getting the chance to work with guys like A.J. Styles, Ricochet, and others who he likely influenced is the high note he needs before hanging it up for good.
Gangrel: funnily enough, Gangrel has a little bit of Royal Rumble history with X-Pac. He lost to X-Pac in a European Title Match back in 1999. Gangrel isn't someone who would typically be on my list, but WWE needs to strike while the iron is hot. With Edge using some of the Brood gimmick over the past year, having Gangrel show up, seemingly align with Edge, and then turn on Edge would be a neat nostalgic moment.
Bayley: after an injury sidelined Bayley last year and left her feud with Bianca Belair on hold, she's been understandably absent from WWE programming. There's been no guest commentary position or podcast appearances. Bayley has been tweeting, of course, but there haven't been any status updates on her recovery. I've got to think that's leading to a Royal Rumble spot. In a way, it'd be more surprising if she showed up on Raw or Smackdown after the Rumble since everyone kind of assumes she'll be in the Royal Rumble itself. Still, I'll settle for a surprise entrant that everyone is expecting.
Paige: another woman who has been out with an injury is Paige. Although, in this case, she's been on the inactive list for years now. Despite that, she's been working on a return for years. It's just a matter of whether or not she can get to the point that she can get medically cleared. It happened with Daniel Bryan and Edge, so maybe it'll happen with Paige too. If she did return, I'd be a little concerned about whether Paige could hang with an evolved women's division, but even a small run with minimal matches could be very cool. Maybe even a tag team title run. Even if it's just a one-time Royal Rumble appearance, at least she could chuck that off her list.
Tyson Kidd: here's another competitor who was forced to retire from in-ring competition due to an injury. Tyson isn't the most charismatic wrestler WWE ever signed, but he was an exceptional worker. His in-ring skills were the perfect combination of high-flying and technical. There weren't any flippy flippy spots just for the sake of it. Everything he did made sense. He's still in great shape, based on Natalya's tweets. If he ever does get cleared, I hope WWE does surprise us. A Royal Rumble is the perfect way to return. In the current WWE, he'd easily be Intercontinental or U.S. Title material. A solid run with one of those mid-card, workhorse titles is definitely deserved! Hopefully it'll happen at some point.
Santino Marella: after his sister, Santina, entered the women's Royal Rumble in 2020, it's time that Santino has a chance at going to Wrestlemania. He's a fun character who always generates a reaction, but, unlike some of the other WWE alumni, Santino hasn't been overexposed. He's not at every Raw Reunion. He hasn't had multiple Royal Rumble appearances since retiring. Hornswoggle, the Boogeyman, and others have shown up so many times that I just don't even care when they do. That isn't the case with Santino. He's mostly a comedic wrestler, but Santino does have some impressive in-ring abilities. I'd love to see him get a couple of eliminations if there is a Rumble appearance. Comedy is the easy route with Santino. Why not throw everyone a little off and give him a chance to eliminate Randy Orton or a bigger nam? I was just watching the 2002 Royal Rumble the other day and Maven eliminating the Undertaker got a huge pop! Nobody looked weak, Maven got over, and it was memorable. WWE doesn't take risks like that anymore, but they should.
Victoria: like Molly, Victoria has already appeared in the Royal Rumble. In fact, it was just 12 months ago that Victoria showed up. It was a special moment because she's been overlooked for the past five years or so. Nobody really knows why. Was someone upset that she went to TNA after quitting the WWE? I'm not sure, but there's some heat with someone because they even quit inviting her to the Hall of Fame ceremony. She finally got a chance to return in 2021, but it was during COVID so there were no fans to give her the pop she deserves. It was still a great Rumble surprise entrant, but I'm going to be a needy fan and request a little more. A return in front of a live crowd, please! Unfortunately, I don't see it happening.
Mighty Molly: If WWE doesn't capitalize on this moment, I'll be very disappointed. Molly Holly was in the first women's Royal Rumble a few years ago. Then, she showed up again as Mighty Molly. Normally, I wouldn't be requesting another appearance so soon, but there's one reason I am: Nikki A.S.H. Now that Nikki turned heel, this is a perfect moment for Mighty Molly to come out and have a fun superhero moment. Nikki can get the rub by eliminating Molly, but I want a showdown. Molly can attempt the chokeslam, like The Hurricane used to. Molly is currently a backstage agent for WWE, so there's no excuse for it not happening other than WWE officials not being smart enough to make it happen.
Bubba Ray (or Spike) Dudley: if this doesn't happen, no big deal. Bubba had his 2015 surprise appearance (and subsequent return run). If that's all he gets, then at least we had that. However, I'd like to hear that music one more time and see him show up again. I'd add D-Von to the list, but I don't think he has any interest in returning to in-ring action. Heck, it doesn't even have to be Bubba in the Rumble. It'd be kind of a swerve to hear the music hit and then have Spike show up instead of Bubba or D-Von. I'd enjoy him getting another chance to step into a WWE ring and get a few moves in. Sure, he'd get eliminated rather quickly, but a few moments is all he needs.
The Blue Meanie: if we're talking about ECW wrestlers, then Blue Meanie may be my number one ask. I always appreciated the athleticism of the Blue Meanie. His b.W.o. gimmick was great, his moonsault was good, his interactions with Goldust were interesting, and the way he handled the JBL situation after One Night Stand was highly commendable. He'll never be a Hall of Fame inductee, but there's no reason he can't get some love through a Royal Rumble appearance. I think he'd get a decent pop since the Rumble usually has some avid, long-time fans in the arena.
Jamie Noble: another guy who was a fun character to watch was the redneck Jamie Noble. I had already tuned out of WWE programming by the time he and Joey Mercury were the new stooges for the McMahons, so I can't really comment on how that version of Jamie Noble worked out. It's been close to two decades since the redneck Noble was seen on WWE programming. That's the Noble I want for a Royal Rumble appearance. That's the one that would be a fun throwback. If I'm not mistaken, Jamie is still employed by WWE as an agent, so maybe there's a chance. It's been long enough since he was on WWE TV that an appearance would be welcomed.
Ivory (preferably the RTC version): even though Ivory was in the women's battle royal at WWE Evolution a few years ago, she hasn't appeared in a Royal Rumble. As one of the best characters of the Attitude Era and a inductee in the WWE Hall of Fame, Ivory doesn't need a Royal Rumble appearance to enhance her resume. It would be nice to see her show up and get that pop though. Or, in her case, if the RTC music hits, it'll be boos. Ivory never had a full retirement match and, while the appearance in the women's battle royal at Evolution was nice, a Royal Rumble appearance could help make an even better ending for her WWE career. I'm sure she has the energy to get through a few minutes in the Rumble. Ivory never runs low on energy.
Madusa / Alundra Blayze: another woman who last showed up in the women's battle royal at Evolution, Madusa was recovering from a knee injury, so she wasn't able to really work much in that match. A couple of years after that surgery, I'm hoping she's in better shape than before. It'd be fun for Madusa to interact with Beth Phoenix, Charlotte Flair, Natalya, and Mickie James. I know she'd like to have some showdowns with them and the Rumble is the perfect format for that to happen. Then again, with Beth being involved in a mixed-tag match this year, maybe the 2023 Rumble is the best time for Madusa to show up.
Layla: it seems that Layla quit WWE and never looked back. She's not one who is active on social media or wrestling for other companies. She's made a few appearances at conventions, but that's it. I don't know if she's even in ring ready shape, but since we know Michelle McCool and The Bella Twins are going to be in the 2022 women's Royal Rumble, why not throw a little LayCool into the mix as well? We'll never get full-on matches with this generation of women. Maybe that's for the best anyway. The ring work has evolved into something more demanding than when the Divas were three-minute filler matches. That's why the Royal Rumble would be a great time to bring Layla back for another small, fun moment to cap off her career.
Corey Graves: I have honestly never seen Corey wrestle. I've only known him as a commentator. He's actually one of the best heel commentators in years. Very few people can replace Bobby Heenan or Jesse Ventura or late 90s Jerry Lawler, but JBL and Corey Graves come close. I'm a huge fan of his commentary. That being said, I don't have a desire to see him compete. Apparently he wants to and is now medically cleared to return, but is he even in ring shape? He isn't fat, but he's not toned from what I've seen. I don't think he's a Wrestlemania headliner. I don't even know that a feud with Corey would be mid-card level. Perhaps he could get involved in a storyline that involves Carmella, kind of like Maryse gets involved in angles with The Miz. If he appears, though, then good for him.
Wade Barrett: although he's already a member of the WWE family, Wade Barrett has only returned in the capacity of a NXT commentator. While everyone is focused on Corey Graves making a potential in-ring return, I'd like to see Wade Barrett step in the ring. Most people probably wouldn't expect his return, so it would get a big pop. He's got the size to be a threat and he's still in good shape, so he could even conceivably be one of the final four competitors instead of a surprise entrant that only lasts a few minutes. I don't really remember, outside of maybe Mr. Perfect in 2002, when a Rumble return lasted long enough to potentially win the match.
Ronda Rousey: this woman has some unfinished business in WWE. Was Ronda Rousey swerving us recently when she claimed she didn't even know what her contract status was? I hope so. I actually don't really think she'll show up, but I'm crossing my fingers that I'm wrong. The sloppy finish to the Rousey / Lynch / Flair Wrestlemania match leaves things open for Ronda to come back and say, 'I kicked out! You're not even a true champion!' Ronda had a baby. Maybe she wants another one, but, if not, then she can check motherhood off her list. One more WWE run could wrap up some things very nicely.
Connor McGregor: another UFC icon, McGregor could easily pull a Ronda Rousey and get some eyeballs on the product. Matches with Seth Rollins, Roman Reigns, and A.J. Styles would be very interesting to see. I don't think he'd be a longstanding member of the WWE roster, but a 1 year deal with some fantasy matches? Absolutely! In a time when WWE needs to kind of compete with AEW (and, more importantly, just draw more attention to their own product), McGregor is a name who could make some headlines. I really don't think he'll end up in WWE, so he'll have a permanent spot on my WWE wishlist.
BONUS: Tessa Blanchard: she'd be the biggest free agent name to show up in the Royal Rumble since A.J. Styles. It wouldn't work for very competitor, but Tessa is well known enough that she'd get a reaction. If WWE doesn't sign her soon, then a Charlotte / Tessa Blanchard feud wouldn't happen. I don't have much hope that Tessa will end up in WWE, but I'd mark out if she did. She and Charlotte is a match that could main event Summerslam or Wrestlemania.
Those are the main people I'd pop for, but I'll leave you with a few other names I'd like to see: Mr. Kennedy (if he's in ring shape), Kurt Angle, Jimmy Wang Yang, Disco Inferno, Tajiri, Lacey Evans, James Elsworth, and Candice Michelle.
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